First of I want to say Happy Father’s Day to all the fathers and dads out there. Fathers and dads have a special role in raising their kids. Today we honor those who are either fathers of their own biological kids or those who are step-dads; taking the time to raise another man kids. It’s no an easy task.
Now let us get to blunt of this blog; and why it’s called deadbeat dads.
Children who grow up without a dad are twice as likely to end up in jail or drop out of high school. 63% of teen suicides and 75% of youths in substance abuse treatment have no dads.
Most of the percentage of homes without a father in the home are in the poor neighborhood. Yet, even the rich has family without a father-figure in the home.
If you are gonna have sex with a woman and she happens to become pregnant, you better take responsibility.
There are men who doesn’t seems to take the responsibility with their children. They leave them and their mothers with no support at all. Then when they are sued or asked to pay child support; they complained about it and try to weasel out of it.
Parents will easily knows when their daughters have kids. But less likely if a son father any children.
I may have half-brothers or sisters on my real father’s side that I don’t know about.
The only thing my real father ever did for me was paid the hospital where I was born. He complained when my mother would buy me vegetables with my meal. He didn’t leave me anything. He left when I was 2 years old. My mother and him was going to get married; but she found him with another woman.
Yet he must had told his family about me. Even though I got my mother’s maiden name, I came very close being named after him.
Like my mother would say, “anyone can father a child; but it takes a real man to be a dad.” I got more from my step-dad than I ever did from my real father. My step-dad was more of a dad to me.
Yet there are kids out there who are not so lucky.
Let us look at Abraham. He was a father of many nations. The Jews, the Christians, and even the Muslims all recognize him as father. He had Isaac in his later life with his wife, Sarah. Before, Isaac, he had Ishmael with one of his maidservant. Ishmael was the leader of the Muslims. I’m sure that Abraham wanted to do the right thing by Ishmael. It was Sarah who made Abraham send Ishmael and his mother away. Sarah didn’t want anything comes between Isaac and his inheritance.
I wouldn’t say that Abraham was a deadbeat dad but he was the first example of one.
There was a time when my mother went to see a lawyer early in their marriage. She learned that she could had gotten all of his kids and made him pay child support. She could even had gotten the farm. I think that was why eventually my step-dad quit drinking when he did. They came to an understanding.
There are fathers who complained that they have to pay child support or that it is too much.
If you are going to father a child you should take responsibility for your children.
Even though my step-dad was more there for me than my real father, he took the responsibility of raising me as his own. He may not been there for me emotionally; but he wasn’t there emotionally for his other kids either. He done more for me. As I wrote in last year blog, the lesson I learned from my dad. He taught me so much.
As Brad Paisley sang in his very first hit song, “He didn’t have to be.” That song suit me and the relationship I had with my step-dad.
I remembered the summer of ’75, when the family went out West to Washington and Oregon. He carried me upstairs my cousin, Nels’, room. So when he died, it was a privilege for me to be a pallbearer at his funeral. He carried me like he carried his other kids; so it was the least I could do.
How many men is willing to raise another man’s children? Or worst yet, how many men is willing to actually do their parts in raising their kids?
It’s a huge responsibility in being a father. They got to teach them right, make sure that they are well taken care of. Boys need a father around to mentor them.
Thank goodness for the Big Brother organization.
So to any fathers out there, take care of your responsibility with your kids. If you can’t get along with the mothers; at least pay your child support, no matter how high it may be. Kids need a father around to teach them.
I wrote a song in the ’90’s titled, “Hear our Cries.” The first verse has to do with the fatherless children. May the Lord be a father to them.
Men, you know what you must do as men. Be a father to your children either biologically or even be a dad to them.
I have never had the opportunity to be a father. If I did, I surely wouldn’t be a father like my real father was. I would try to be there for my kids, anyway I can. You can’t buy their love, like some may try to do. I would had hope that I would had been a better father because of what my step-dad had done for me. He may not had been perfect. Now that is a whole different blog.