Parents say the darndest things

They say that kids say the darndest things. Well what about our parents? Some of the things they come up with makes you want to scratch your head and wondered what the hell they are thinking of?

I’m going to give you some of the darndest things parents have been known to say. Some, you probably heard and some you may shake your head when you read this. Some of the darndest things were said by my parents.

First, let’s start with the most obvious, a lot of people probably heard of a dozen times. I walked 5 miles through the snow to school every day, all uphill too.

You better pray that comes out of the carpet.

What parents haven’t said this: because I said so, that’s why. Or how about keep crying and I’ll give you something to cry about. Both are said when parents are disciplining their children.

Have you heard, when you get my age you’ll understand?

One day you’ll have kids, I hope they turn out just like you. This is usually said after the children are misbehaving as a form of revenge punishment. Believe me, I had a sister who that actually happened to. Her one daughter is a spitting image of her. She got her just desserts as my folks wished for her and all of us kids.

My mother been known to have say, “don’t just stand there with your teeth in your mouth.” It was to get us moving.

She also have said, “don’t leave a room empty-handed.” She was telling us to bring something in with us as we leave one room for the other.

Instead of work smarter-not harder; how about: use your head-not your feet. Use your head for more than just a hat rack. Believe me, people today doesn’t used their head. They have no common sense.

I heard this after Rock Hudson died of AIDS and was revealed that he was a closet homosexual. “Do you know how to prevent getting AIDS? Sit on your ass and keep your mouth shut!”

My dad been known to say after someone did something nice to him, as a thank you. “May all your kids be born naked!”

I heard my Aunt Dorothy say, “Son of a biscuit!” as a form of cursing.

My dad have said after he died, just dig a hole, throw him in and covered it up with dirt. He didn’t need anything fancy. He even said that after building a root cellar away from the house near our garden. You can bury me in there, my tomb.

If he saw lights on unnecessary, he would asked, “do you need that light on? Shut it off!!”

You just ate an hour ago and you’re still hungry? Even though back then we were growing teenagers.

What did you miss in town? Always on the go!

Whenever someone would call or visit while we were sitting down for a meal, dad would say, “every time we sit down for a meal, either the phone rings or there is a knock on the door!”

My mother would say, “who lets you in neighbor kids?”

My dad was true believer in having things that’s built to last. He always said, “don’t buy cheap stuff! If you can’t afford it save up for it.”

Kids are supposed to be seen and not heard.

Speak up, I can’t hear! Quit mumbling!

There are 2 things that you cannot give a black person, a black eye and a fat lips.

I haven’t had a cigarette since Joe Lewis quit boxing.

One of these days, the United States will have another civil war when the American people gets so fed up with the government.

Instead of saying not my church, my mother would say, “not my religion.”

I don’t want to promise you.

Money doesn’t grow on trees.

Supper is ready, wash your hands, you just played with the dog.

About my one sister, who was always late, she will be late for her own funeral.

My mother would call dad the old man.

These are just a few darndest things my parents or other parents may have said. Some of what I could remembered. If you have any other darndest things that your parents have said to you while growing up, share them in the comments below. I want to hear from you. If any of these ring a bell with you, let me know in the comments.