I’m no expert on what love is. It’s hard to figure out women. I don’t even know if a person is going too fast or too slow.

This past Friday, February 14th was Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day has become too commercialize. This is the day that people would spend money for the person they love. People would buy cards and flowers. Usually a husband or boyfriend would spend money to take their wife or girlfriend out for a nice meal.

According to the world’s definition of love and romance, it’s all about being sexually active. There is more to love than just sex though.

You have to applaud young people who abstain to abstinence before marriage.There are some who would buy purity ring to remain pure until marriage. You have to applaud young girls who agreed to remain pure so they can wear white on their wedding day. Yet, at the same time; it’s not emphasize for boys remaining pure. For some reason, there is a stigma on women who have a lot of sexual partners, but society seems to look at it differently when it comes to men. We’ve allowed ourselves to be fooled into thinking that it’s acceptable because that’s what men do.

Valentine’s Day aside, television and films seem to fuel inappropriate and sensual messages designed to jeopardize the sexual purity of our children and young adults. We are bombarded by sex on television, in the movies, and in the music we listen to.

Boys are censored to how many time they score. There’s even such things as the walk of shame on college campuses. If boys doesn’t score, other boys may think that there is something wrong with them or that they are gay.

Whereas if girls are sexually active, they are labeled as a slut or easy.

Like I mentioned earlier,I haven’t been very lucky in the love department. I just can’t seem to understand my heart or what is considered too fast or too slow. Because of that I would lose out in finding my soul mate.

I had my first girlfriend when I was in the 6th grade. When I was in the 7th grade, I kissed that girl, named Janet. I got my face slap for it too.

When I was in college at NDSU, I was friend with an older college woman named Susan. She was a member of the NDSU Goldstar Band. We would eat supper together in the dining hall. One time, we went rollerskating at Skateland. As we were rollerskating, we would hold hands. Other boys in my dorm would joked and say that she was my girlfriend; even though we were just friends. I have to admit that I fell for peer pressure as a lot of boys and/or college men would do. I asked her if there was more to our relationship and was shot down. I didn’t knew my heart at the time.

Then years later, I became interested in a woman named Holly. Whenever we would talked on the phone, I loved hearing her voice. I even fantasied about marrying her and we had 2 boys. Before we met, she had a nervous breakdown. When we finally met, I soon realized that she was more like a sister than a girlfriend;so we broke it off. I soon learned that she eventually had a child. The thought went through my head that the child could had been mind, if only I didn’t mess up.

Then there was a woman named Theresa, who I had a crushed on; but I didn’t act on my feelings and lost out to her to my best friend. I didn’t recognized my feelings at that time. I soon learned that I was lucky to not get involved with her, because she would had driven me to the poorhouse. She broke my heart and stabbed me in the back in the process though.

There was a woman named Danielle, who lived in my old apartment building before the Pandemic. We would talked. One time she came into my apartment to used my phone. I overheard her conversation and saw how upset she was getting. When she was off the phone, I offered her a hug to comfort her. She was from a small town in Minnesota. One day, I made some margarita and brought some over to share with her.

Now it doesn’t have to be between a man and a woman. We don’t have to buy into the world’s definition of love and romance. If you are sexually active outside of marriage, stop. Think seriously what you are doing. As humans,we have a tendency to be sexually attracted to someone by their appearances or whatever. We are drawn to a person sex just for the sexual appetite we have. There’s more to a relationship than just sex though. According to the world’s standard, that is not the case though.

I have a confession here. I never thought it would happen. I never thought that I would become attached to this young man named Joey. I took him under my wings to look out for him. I even want to adopt him,since he was abused himself. I enjoyed hanging out with him. Somehow, I noticed a sexual attraction with him. He opened my eyes to things. He made an impact in my life. I hope I made a positive influence in his life also.

I noticed that I’m co-dependent. I’m usually drawn to someone who needs to be taken care. As I get to know someone and see that they have emotional problems, I feel a connection with that person. Not just with Joey, but with Danielle and Holly as well. If I see that they need someone to take care of them, I’m hooked. Maybe, I haven’t dealt with issues in my own life. Maybe that’s why I wasn’t able to find my soulmate and settled down.

This is a Valentine’s message to my readers. This is only part 1. Next week,will be part 2, looking at being a cheap or generous lover.

I may know what true love is; but I know what love ain’t. There’s more to love than just sex. At the same time, a relationship shouldn’t be depended on if that person needs someone to take care of them. When a person finds their soulmate, they will know it in their heart. But they have to be in tune with what the heart wants.